Christmas has come and gone, and the new year has begun. It's zooming in on one year since Mom died, and more and more I have begun to miss her. Not just the healthy Mom, but also the Mom I cared for as Alzheimer's transformed her. I wasn't sure that day would ever come.
The holidays are always stressful; because I teach, I'm busy grading almost right up to Christmas, making preparations difficult. This year was worse, I confess. So one night Jeanne and I watched the slideshow we prepared for Mom's memorial service. It was very helpful. I find watching it healing. It gives me my mom back, through all stages of her life.
Mom & Paul (the oldest), circa Christmas, 1952
On a slightly different note, I read an exceptional article in the New York Times today. I don't keep up to date with reading about Alzheimer's, but when I do, their work seems to me the best and most relevant on the topic. Here is a link to the article entitled "Giving Alzheimer’s Patients Their Way, Even Chocolate": http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/01/health/01care.html?ref=homepage&src=me&pagewanted=all
Jeanne and I did some of these things intuitively, like giving her a piece of chocolate as a treat. She could be at her most shut down, and we would say "chocolate," and she would put her hand out to receive it. But we were also incredibly vigilant about making sure Mom ate and did what was healthy for her more than what she wanted. I would have done a few things differently had I read this article 2 years or more ago. I recommend it highly.
So, all said and done, here's to a new year of grieving and recovery. I'm hoping for good things gradually developing.
I'm in the picture, so this is probably Christmas, 1959
