The Granddaughters

Jeanne and I have two amazing granddaughters, Kiana, who is almost 5, and Avri, who is 3. They come and spend a day with us once a week. Mom has always loved kids and babies, so for as long as she could still smile, even if she had nothing else worth smiling at, she would smile when the girls were here. Though she doesn't smile anymore, we can still see her interest in them, as she watches them pretty attentively, which again, she doesn't really do with anything or anyone else.

Kiana has a hard time trying to understand the changes in Mom. We tell her that Mary is sick, and Kiana herself says, "Mary isn't alive anymore." That's not far from the truth. She remembers dancing with Mom. She came across this picture a couple of weeks ago, and was so excited. "That's me dancing with Mary! We used to dance together!"

A few weeks ago, we were sitting around the table, holding hands to say our 'gratefuls' before dinner. We pretty much leave Mom out of it if she's started eating, because she doesn't like to stop eating long enough to give us her hand. But Avri reached towards her, and Mom actually reached back and took her hand. Kiana was amazed. "Look! Mary's coming alive again! She took Avri's hand!" She was delighted and so encouraged, thinking that Mom could improve. She hears that Mom is sick, so her experience is that when you get sick you get better again.

Here's a more recent picture of Kiana and Avri with Mom (9/08):

We had hoped that Mom would live long enough so that Kiana will be able to remember her, and I think we may have reached that point, especially if we regularly talk about Mom and look at pictures. I don't know if Avri will remember her, especially since she has never been able to have the kind of relationship with Mom that Kiana has. But Avri is not afraid to hug Mom, and will still sometimes spontaneously embrace her arm. Kiana has become a bit leery of Mom. She doesn't know how to act around her when she gets no response. Hence the "She's not alive" comments.

Being with these growing girls is an important part of us being able to continue to care for Mom. Their youth and enthusiasm help us deal with Mom's continual decline toward death.